Owl on the Prowl

I have been to three specialty food stores in the last 24 hours and have had to wait an average of 30 minutes at each for some food. I just want one item. Other people are buying enough food to last the winter. Damn, son. I do like that all these stores still use the “take a number” method though.

Sometimes I let Hank chase squirrels cause he likes to. Sometimes I catch the squirrels staring at me after Hank has failed to catch them and they are halfway up a tree scared shitless. In my mind, I think they are memorizing my face so they can plot my death, either by assault with nuts or by scratching.

Every year I make cookies for my dear friends. I always make Chocolate Molasses Spice cookies and Jam Thumbprints. This year I am also making Buckeyes and Almond Cranberry Cookies.

These are the items you will need.

1 1/2 c + 1T flour

1 1/4t ginger

1t cinnamon

1/4t each of cloves and nutmeg

1/2c brown sugar

1T cocoa powder

1/4c molasses

stick of butter, room temp     

1t baking soda dissolved in 1 1/2t boiling water   

2c semi sweet chocolate chips

some granulated sugar for rolling

These are the items you will need for the Hazelnut Thumbprints. The recipe is here. Martha suggests using strawberry jam. I used Fig jam and they were delicious. I have also in the past used orange marmalade and raspberry jam. Go with what you like.

These are the items you need to made the Cranberry Almond Cookies. The recipe is here. As you can see, they are supposed to have pecans not almonds, but guess what? Pecans are expensive and I already had almonds. I bet you could switch up the fruit too (candied orange peel?).

Lastly, this is all you need to make Buckeyes. You can use this recipe. Mine do not look as pretty as this chicks, but seriously, I have very little patience and attention span of a 3 year old. They still taste good so who gives a fuck? Anyway, here are the finished products:

Kurt Russell in the movie Silkwood.

You know, the movie where Meryl Streep has the sick mullet? The man is super sexy. Look at that bod and those dimples. He’s also pretty hot in The Thing and Tombstone. Good news, ladies. Even though he and Goldie have been together since I was born basically, they have never married, so he’s available! Watch Deathproof and Escape from New York…and Big Trouble in Little China.

Apparently. There is a Dreidel contest at the Knitting Factory next week. The Jew in me wants to enter, but the Catholic in me says I will lose. What to do?!?

I fucking HATE that word. What odious person made it up? It is so pretentious. Don’t ever call me that. I am a fucking bartender that makes drinks.

So our super doesn’t turn on the heat. I found out today that he does this on purpose because he finds cold tenants to be babies. Why is this man alive?