Last night, my bar unexpectedly closed so I was forced to come home with no money and no one to hang out with…see, Todd had “projects” to do. I settled down in the bed, armed with my laptop, the only entertainment I need.
I decided to put on my 80’s pop playlist. About 8 songs in, Todd got mad at me for singing along to all the songs. I told him that was the price he had to pay if he wasn’t gonna hang out with me. As I continued singing, I noticed that like 97% of the songs are sung in high voices, falsetto almost. Also they all have the crappiest drumbeats (most don’t even use REAL drums) ever and 73% have synthesizers/keyboards with cheesy effects.
Now, I knew these facts before, but I didn’t dissect the songs so much….I think this happened because I was playing the computer in Scrabble at the time. How did so many songs with so many terrible elements turn out so great? I’m talking Joe Jackson, The Go-Gos, INXS, Crowded House, Human League, Madonna, Tears for Fears, Eddie Money, you get the idea. The 80’s are chock full of pop hits with crappy, yet catchy, background music ( i guess that is what most pop is)…not too mention awesome movies/TV programming and hideous fashion trends, but that is for another post.
As you long time readers know, I work in the mezzanine bar of a couple venues…that means it’s on the second floor balcony of a two story space. So some chick came up to me, at my bar, the other night and said, “Is there another way to get upstairs?” I said, “You’re here. You’re upstairs already. You made it!” This is the same girl who asked me how to get downstairs an hour earlier. No joke. Where do these people come from?
Today, Todd and I went down to the City Clerks office for our civil ceremony. This was a much more economic way for us to get married legally. (We are having a big wedding on October 9th, with our family and friends and food and dancing and a ceremony performed by Aaron Lefkove of disgustingthingsihaveeaten.com so look out for those pics) Our dear friends, Tim and Jimmy (who have another wedding to attend on the 9th), came to be our witnesses and honorary photographers. Here are some great shots of the momentous event.
They give you a number when you go down there. It’s like a deli!
Our new rings. Todd has become a man…a man with jewelry. Soon he will be wearing loafers with no socks.
The lot of us having drinks afterwards at the Southstreet Seaport right before this..
torrential downpour. There were people on that boat trying to enjoy drinks and views of the city. They were probably all shitting their pants at this point. I felt really bad for them.
of stylish silver haired vixens and studs, check out this fabulous lady I saw working at the New York Library today
Look at her frickin hair style!!! That is so badass. Here are some more shots of the library. If you have never gone, it is pretty amazing…and FREE! Pay a visit to the map room. The have half a million maps from all time periods and nations.
This is the lobby where you enter. Marble Madness.
The ceiling on the third floor near the reading rooms. I didn’t take any pictures in the rooms cause it was too quiet, but I can tell you, they are devastating.
Tomorrow, I am gonna be on the CBS Morning Show. I am being interviewed because of my new heavy metal work out video “Ms. Fit’s Losing the Heavy to Metal”. I will be joined by Metallica.
PSYCH… I wish that were the case. I really am gonna be on the show though. I will be the small Costa Rican Jew in the mod dress standing near an old Caddy…well, they said old cadillacs will be involved, but I may not be standing near it. Anyway, they offered me some money to do it, and it didn’t seem degrading, so I said yes! So, if you are up early enough to catch some of the CBS Early Show (not sure the exact time I will be on), and you forgot what I look like, check it out! Also, if you have a VCR or Tivo or some kind of way to record it, please do so and send it to me so I can see how dumb I looked.
Last night, I got to work the Hank III show. I ran the beer cart with another girl named Melissa. We were about a twelve pack away from being completely out of PBR at the end of the show…the whole place…4 bars. This is in a venue whose capacity is like 600.
I had three favorite customers all night.The first one was this old dude. For some reason he kept talking to Melissa and me about his life. Apparently, he was a drummer for GG Allin. He said he wasn’t gonna drink. He talked about Florida and his other bands. He ended up on stage with Assjack to be a guest drummer. Nice man.
The second was a woman. She work a green tank top, over it, an extremely tight green corset. Her boobs looked like two grapefruits on top of a shelf. She was incredibly sweet and had a deep southern accent, which is something I never hear in Brooklyn. She wanted 6 shots of Jack. I felt bad cause my bar only had beer, I had to send her away. :(
The third was a large, sweaty man. He was looking at my beer display and said “Woodpecker? What the fuck is that? Is it American?” I said “Yeah, it’s american. It’s cider. It’s good, wanna try it?” He agreed so I poured it into a cup and told him it was from Vermont. He said “Aw! It’s Yankee shit!”. I just laughed. He then tried the beer and said, “It tastes like juice”, he repeatedly stuck his tongue out, “It tastes like apple juice.” I said, “It’s CIDER.” He just walked away, ready to get back to moshing, no doubt. Later he came back and I asked him if he wanted some more juice. He replied, “Give me a fuckin PBR.”
Yesterday, It was my dear friend, Jimmy’s, birthday. Here he is:
Todd and I had, him and his old man, Tim, over for a delicious late lunch/early bird dinner. First we had this:
Notice Hank looking up. He knows there are delicious chili slaw dogs and mac n cheese up there. (I made the mistake of giving him the leftover chili and he has been ripping some horrendous farts ever since.) We took our plates onto the roof and feasted. In between courses, Jimmy and I flossed Tim and Todd at Taboo. After a nice board game beat down, I like to have some Coconut Cream Pie so that is exactly what we did:
I ate the half that’s missing. Everyone else got slivers. All in all, it was a good time.
Todd’s brother, Tait Colberg, has written and self published a great book called The Skateboarding Art. It’s about art…and skateboarding. I know some of you are hesh thrashers so you should buy it and read it…while you’re dropping in on your sweet ramp…or shotgunning a beer…or listening to Kill em All…that’s what skaters do, right?
Todd and I have started a band. We are called Brewskie (that is copywritten so don’t try to steal that shit, biters). I play acoustic guitar and sing and Todd plays lead electric guitar. We do covers. Here is our set list so far:
The Night they Drove Dixie Down The Band
Midnight Rider Allman Brothers Band
Still the Same Bob Seger
Tuesday’s Gone Lynyrd Skynyrd
Hard Luck Woman Kiss*
I can maybe convince Todd that we need to do a Neil Young song, but I doubt it (*this song also probably won’t fly). We are open to any suggestions. From the set list above though, you can clearly see we will be going far. Opening for like Hank III and AssJack or something. I’m gonna need some stage threads. Help a sister out.