The last two shows I went to were Pierced Arrows (below) and Roky
Erickson and they both fucking ruled. These people are legendary, pretty old musicians that still dish out killer shows. I recommend seeing both the next time they are in your home town.
Since I saw Roky about 3 hours ago I can give a recap. The man opened with “Night of the Vampire”. That was the first Roky and the Aliens song I heard, and when I heard it I asked, “What is this? It’s awesome.” He played various other Aliens/later songs (Two-headed Dog, Stand for the Fire Demon and Don’t Slander Me) mixed with his new stuff (the guitar player for Okkervil River, a girl mind you, is a badass) and then he threw in Reverberation, encoring with You’re Gonna Miss Me. I wish he had played Bloody Hammer or Splash 1 but whatever, it ruled. Here are some crappy photos I took with my budge phone.
Also, if you have not seen the documentaries on these bands, go rent em. Unkown Passage(Dead Moon) and You’re Gonna Miss Me (Rok). I ain’t lyin. Thems is good!
I was walking down to the Mongolian stir-fry counter a couple blocks away. I stopped to put something in the mailbox and call todd. I was waiting for him to pick up and right as I was about to cross the road a car spun out from around the corner right in front of me. I guess the man had decided to turn last minute and the tow truck behind him didn’t react fast enough, rear ended him super hard and he spun out. I couldn’t see him turning because of parked cars/trucks. I was shaking. I could have been in the GD crosswalk. I could have been flung 20 feet. WTF?? I guess I got lucky.
Blind, like a Mole: How I became a Snooty Art Collector
So several years ago, I was in Maine for a vacation. I was wandering around Portland, as I like to do, and ventured into a gift shop. There was an art show up by the artists Linda and John Meyers. I was instantly drawn to the piece titled “Mole going to play Tennis” (pictured below).
As soon as I returned to Raleigh, I emailed the artists. I explained how I was in Maine and saw their show and would love to buy the mole painting. I also explained that I was a poor waitress and would have to pay in increments over several months. They kindly agreed to this and a few months later I had the Mole in my possession.
Fast forward to present day. They are selling prints of my painting on their website AND at Urban Outfitters. I HAVE THE ORIGINAL!!!! I got it 5 years ago (maybe even longer…I don’t remember exact dates)!!! I must take good care of this painting (which I have been doing already). I wish I had bought another one they had on display of a zeppelin, but alas, I could not. So what, I still own a priceless work of art, so in your face.
***Note- I also own priceless works of art by my friends who have not been recognized as the great artists they are yet.
New Burger King...and the psychos that come with it at no extra charge!
So this new Burger King opened up about a month ago in my neighborhood. It’s nice because I like fast food and my only options were McDonalds and a combination PIzza Hut and Taco Bell (which I have been to twice in the last 2.5 years). I woulda loved it if a GD Wendy’s would open (Or if BOJANGLES would bring a franchise up here-hint hint), but they are few and far between in the city.
I live in Bushwick, for those of you who don’t know, and Burger King is LOVED in my neighborhood. I had a craving for one of their tasty chicken sandwiches last friday night so I walked down there. Bad idea. The line almost went out the door…people treating their kids to yummy fried food on friday night. I waited patiently for my turn up at the shiny new counter. I ordered and proceeded to wait for my food. This is when it got really entertaining.
So this was the setup: 2 people taking orders, 2 people giving out the orders and i don’t know how many people cooking and putting the orders together. One of the employees giving out the orders was the funniest. It was clear that she had been working WAY TOO LONG. She would call out the order number in a 6” voice and then slightly louder and slightly louder until she was saying “People. Please look at the top of your ticket. There is a number there. I am calling out for number 7. NUMBER 7!”. Then she proceeded to pound her fist on the counter and huff and puff. She was being a total cunt bitch whore…but it was funny. I mean EVERYONE knows that your number is at the top of the ticket. I am willing to bet that that was not a maiden trip to a fast food establishment for ANYONE in the restaurant. I guess you get what you pay for when it comes to customer service.
Meanwhile, Todd and Hank were waiting patiently outside. A woman came out of the BK and asked Todd if he could move Hank back and away from her children. Hank has trouble moving backwards since he now only has 1 leg back there, so Todd moved him a couple feet. This was not good enough. The lady told Todd that she had already asked him nicely. Todd tried to explain to this woman that Hank loves kids and is not an aggressive dog. She then proceeded to call him an asshole. Wow. I think I will wait a while before I go back there.
Today is Todd-o’s birthday. I made him a coconut layer cake. He got home from a show last night a
t 2am and proceeded to have slice along with some 100 proof whiskey. NICE. I also got him ticke
ts to see this guy (look left) on May 25th, this book (look right), a ping pong paddle and some balls and some skivvies. Tonight we feast on Oysters and steak and what have you. Then more booze….lets get one more shot of my lovely cake (it involved using five and a half sticks of butter….mmmm)…
As I have stated before, I fucking LOVE to gamble. I will gamble on anything…ANYTHING. Today marks the first race of the coveted Triple Crown…and the first ever Roth/Colberg Kentucky Derby Party!!! If all goes well, perhaps it will turn into an annual thing. I will be dressed (along with my guests, hopefully) in all the appropriate aristocratic accoutrement, like these derby sluts.
(Guys, Hugh’s outfit is a good example of what to wear.) I will also be serving canapes and mint juleps. We will place bets on the horses and yell at the TV for the 2 most exciting minutes in sports.
For the past few years, on Derby day, I have gone down to the local OTB to place my bets. If you have never been to an OTB, you should go at least once before you die. It is actually a really sad place, but you can find yourself some characters. A couple years ago, I took Todd down for his first experience (the one on Manhattan Ave in Greenpoint is my favorite). As we were contemplating the betting sheet and what the fuck a superfecta is, we got honed in on by a “regular”. This woman could tell, we were NOT regulars…immediately. She explained to us, with a cigarette hanging out of her mouth the whole time, how to bet. I didn’t understand one thing she said. She talked to fast and it involved words I didn’t know the meaning of…well, in that context (i.e.-place, trifecta, odds?!?). We ended up at the window just getting the bookie to do it for us.
Last year, we went back, and I ended up just picking up the sheet with the contenders on it, and going to the window (see, I love to gamble, but I don’t love it enough to actually learn how to do it properly and effectively). There was a man behind me who asked if he could cut in front. See, his race was starting in a few, and the derby wasn’t starting for hours. I said, “Why not?”. Well, this set off the guy that was behind him. He started almost yelling at me…”Why does he get to go ahead and not me?? I have a race starting soon too!!!” I told him to chill out, he could also cut. LESSON 1: Do not get between an addicted gambler and his bookie right before a race. It all ended well…except for the fact that Todd did NOT go with his gut and ended up going with a LOSER instead forsaking us thousands of dollars.
LESSON 2: ALWAYS go with your gut. And with that I cry, “GO DISCREETLY MINE!!!”