February 2010
33 posts
2 tags
“Hey, Bud. Let’s Party!”
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Do you not like to go out during winter either?
I have had Netflix since I don’t remember when. Every once in a while, all three movies I have at home are winners. I think I will begin nicknaming the times that this happens…perhaps The Triple Crown. A couple weeks ago, this was the case. Here are the movies (I know these are from a few years ago, but my Netflix queue has always been 150 titles long so give me a break):
Tyson...
Why did it take me so long to open a Fresh Direct...
also- The Filet o Fish commercial is back!!
Yarrghrrr! Shiver Me Timbers! There's a wee person...
I have recently begun preparing for my wedding…for real. Since we want to spend a minimal amount of money, we have decided to have just beer, wine and champagne and then two cocktails-one chosen by Todd, one by me. Todd will probably go with Jack Daniels and I will opt for a fruity or coconutty concoction such as my mother’s punch. In my party planning quest, I came across this article...
I want to live in a Double Wide
Especially if it looks like this:
This is a prefab house designed by Rocio Romero. I have been wanting one for several years now. I don’t have any land to put it on though, so it will have to wait. Basically, Rocio Romero sends you all the parts to build this house and then you pay someone to build it…or if you are crafty an expert carpenter, build it yourself. She has several...
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Roosevelt "Mack" McDuffie
About seven years ago I lived next door to Mack. He was awesome. The whole neighborhood knew Mack and he would always be talking to someone. He would sit on his porch all day with his dog, Bad Girl. He had a TV out there, a porch swing and a few chairs. A couple weeks after I moved in, I noticed his dog was gone and then, about a week later, he had a new dog. I said to him, “What’s...
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Hipster Morons
The other day my friends wanted to meet for brunch in Greenpoint. Brunch is normally something I find revolting…just the idea of paying $9-13 for eggs and bacon is retarded…but since it was Tim & Jimmy that the invitation was from, of course I said yes.
The only way for me to get to Greenpoint is to walk for 15 minutes to the L then transfer to a G OR take the bus….I opted...
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Life’s A Gas T.Rex…in honor of the...
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NYC brings out the Jew in Me
This past weekend I went to the 100 year old Yonah Schimmel’s Knishery in the Lower East Side. Even though I am half Jewish and have been to my fair share of Jewish Holiday seders, I don’t remember having a knish…I remember the matzoh balls, bagels and lox, applesauce and horseradish. I opted for the blueberry knish (sweet tooth) and it was fabulous. I recommend that anyone in...
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Gimme Your Autograph
Some musicians have the greatest names…like they were born to be famous. That is why I am gonna give my children the best names of all times (i am not telling you what I have come up with). I know some of these names are monikers, but that’s okay. They took some time to come up with something great. These are some of my favs:
Holmes Sterling Morrison(VU), Blackie Lawless (W.A.S.P.),...
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You wanna f#@* me? I’d f*#@ me.
Goodbye...
Honesty- Always the Best Policy
On the short walk from the train to my house, I was approached by a man who asked me for some money. Then he said, “I want to buy a Budweiser and a bag of marijuana.” Awesome.
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Luxury African Safari...I'm game...literally.
I really wanted to stay in this luxurious safari camp (we can all dream) but then I thought about it some more. How does the canvas sheet that divides my luxury suite/camp from the African wild protect me from lions and other such beasts? The Old Safari Days part of the page wasn’t too comforting either. Still, it would be pretty sweet to see a baby elephant and giraffes in their...
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The Best ROCK Voices...an opinion piece
Recently, I watched a documentary on The NYC Opera Audition Process on Thirteen (my favorite channel)…at least I think it was about that…I started watching it halfway through. It’s fascinating and amazing what these people do with their vocal cords. I got to thinking about my favorite voices in ROCK. I am limiting the selection to rock because there are way too many soul, jazz...
Can someone answer me?
How do you get “milk” from an almond or a soy bean? They don’t have boobs. Shouldn’t it be called Almond Juice/Soy Juice?
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F is for Fucking Failure
This is the deplorable F train. It is BY FAR the WORST train line in Manhattan. I LOATH that I have to use it. In order for me to get to my job in Midtown West I need to take a J train to Essex, transfer to the horrible uptown F, take that to W4th and transfer to an ACE train. I will be on the platform in the morning and I will watch 3 downtown F trains go past before an uptown one comes. Then it...
Sounds
These are some of my favorite sounds:
Snow crunching, typewriters typing, pool balls clicking, records crackling, Hank eating a chip.
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Who are these people?
they look awesome…especially the man with the car…nice package pants (shorts). And what’s up with the sleezy shades on the kid with the bike?
Weird Dream
Last night I dreamt I was back in North Carolina. All the people I knew were there and we were going on a field trip to a large park. There were these Asian women, at the park, hypnotizing coi in ponds to make designs with their bodies in the water…like synchronized swimming. None of my friends would hang out with me. They were all in their own world….and they were mesmerized by the...
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Loony at the Kmart
I was just sent on an errand to Kmart to get some party supplies. I found the plates and what have you relatively fast and proceeded to get in line. There were only 3 registers open, one of which was a “5 items or less” lane. Since that line was about 10 people long, I decided to get in the line with 3 people with large purchases. That was a floundering mistake…well it...
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Religious Ranter
This morning I was on my way to my new temp job on the train when my private, head phoned jam down was rudely interrupted by a religious ranter. It’s pretty normal to run into these types all over the city.
This man was YELLING though, on the A express train at 9:30 in the morning. Now I only heard a few things, as I had turned up my ipod once I realized what was going on. Also, he was...
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“Love comes in spurts, in dangerous spurts and it murders your heart, they...”
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Mix Tapes, The Best Present
I have reported enough doom and gloom in the last week, now let’s talk about love. As all of you know, the horrible Hallmark-made Valentine’s Day is approaching. Even if your girlfriends/boyfriends SAY they don’t want anything, they really do…I do (I have even circled specific items in a catalog and written my size next to them and placed the catalog in a strategic place...
And the hits just keep on coming....
Yesterday, we took our dear Hanky-doo to the vet to see about a fatty tumor in his leg. It has been there a while and has been growing. We actually tried to get it removed last year but the doctor chickened out (although we were still charged $700) and just sewed Hank back up. We were referred to another doctor, a very experienced surgeon. He was optimistic about the operation and said he could...
The Raleigh Slammer: Money Well Spent
After I left Raleigh, an amazing weekly paper started circulating. It is called The Raleigh Slammer. My dear friends, Redbyrd and Pinche Gringo, were so sweet to bring us a copy of it. It’s a weekly (maybe bi-weekly) collection of mug shots. Everyone that has been arrested, all wrapped up in a $1 magazine. It is HILARIOUS! Now, the fine print states that the purpose and intent of the...
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Today- Jefferson Airplane
